Airports: A Rant

I’ve been traveling a lot recently, and thus I’m reminded of the horrendous inefficiency that is airports. Here are, in no particular order, a few of my gripes:

• Why are planes boarded in literally the least efficient manner possible? Loading a plane from front to back makes no sense if the only door being used is in the front; people heading to the back have to shimmy around the people loading their bags into the overhead bins.
  • The Mythbusters tested and confirmed this; you can watch the MiniMyth here
  • If you’re loading a plane by zone number anyway, why not load from back to front, with zones moving inward from the windows and outward from the centre?

• Security lines in Canada are obnoxiously slow. In contrast, Europe has it all figured out; any and all electronic devices have to be taken out of your carry-on, and the scanners are far more up-to-date, so there are significantly fewer false positives.
  • On a side note, America’s airline security is much quicker than Canada’s, despite being more of a hassle (you have to take off your shoes and such).
  • The fact that you cannot take a full water bottle through security is surprisingly poorly advertised in the areas leading up to security. Signage instructs you to remove your laptop computer and your 3-1-1 bag, but I can’t recall ever seeing a sign that says “Empty your water bottle before security!” or something.
    • Yes, I chugged a 750ml bottle of water while waiting in line for security. Shush yourself.

• Toronto Pearson International Airport–yes, this airport gets a whole section for itself.
  • Bad signage. Why isn’t it obvious that domestic departures aren’t necessarily out of Terminal 1? Or that you have to take a decrepit elevator down a floor to get to your connection?!
    • It’s also irritatingly difficult to explain to someone how to get to Union from the gate. One has to traverse the entire terminal, exit the secured area before picking up their bags, find the appropriate carousel, go down an escalator and through a tunnel to the train platform, and then find the UP Express among terminal trains. There are barely enough signs to get someone to customs, let alone the train to the city.
  • Why are there multiple ways to get through security? The handful of lanes in the basement are poorly advertised, while the lanes on the main level are incredibly slow due to the abovementioned lack of signage.
  • The “Random Checks” are very much not random. But you already knew that, right?
  • Seating areas near the gate never have enough outlets. I do recognize the effort being made, but YVR has had quadruple the amount of outlets for years.
  • Don’t even get me started on the Wifi.
• Why is airport food so expensive? A tiny tray of crappy take-out sushi runs you $20 bucks in the airport. Starbucks is actually one of the cheaper options available at YYZ, which is pretty sad.
  • I’m fortunate enough to have lounge access in most North American airports, where the food is freshly made to order–and free! The Plaza Premium lounge in YVR’s International terminal also offers excellent showers and nap rooms.
  • An interesting thing about expensive airport food is that it’s largely a North American problem; my dining experience at airports abroad has generally been better-tasting and cheaper.

• I feel like airlines should be doing a lot more to make traveling with small children as painless as possible. While priority boarding is a good start, I think there’s a lot of room for improvement.
  • Small children under the age of 6 or so should be entitled to a free seat. I know infants are allowed to sit on the lap of the parent they’re traveling with, but I can’t imagine that being a comfortable arrangement for more than a couple of hours on end–hence the crying babies on flights.
    • This would also mean an extra article of carry-on luggage, for all those kid-related supplies!
  • I also think airlines should offer free foam or silicone earplugs on long-haul flights, for two reasons:
    • Infants and toddlers will cry when they are upset, and angry glares at the parental units won’t change a thing–but at least you’ll be able to drown out some of the noise.
    • The cost of foam earplugs is effectively nil, and not everyone wants crappy earbuds to watch an in-flight movie on a tiny screen. Please, just give passengers the option of taking free earplugs if they don’t feel like coughing up $2.99 for disposable earbuds!

That’s all I have to say for now! I’m sure I’ll come up with more to ramble on about during my return flight, but I might also write up a post about tips for smooth travels or something. Thanks for reading~